so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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