Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
