I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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