she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
