Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
