Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've blown a few things in my day
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I love you.
Bad choice
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
