so that wasnt chicken after all
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
