Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
