Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
