you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
did i just pee glitter
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
