You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
