I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
