so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
