I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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