She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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