So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
