Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
