brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
