I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
