I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Randomize
