If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
