This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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