Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
