you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
