"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
