They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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