Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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