I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
