yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize