there was a trapeze. enough said
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
