last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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