I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
