i think my tv is drunk
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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