Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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