I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
