i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
