Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize