He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
