You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
