Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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