but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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