i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i dont even know how to be here
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize