R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
