who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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