Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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