Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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