i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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