I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
