She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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