she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
