I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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