i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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