You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
