There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
