So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
