You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize