Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
