i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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