His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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