Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
