Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
