you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
A bitchslap is in order.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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